Breakfast rules
May 24th, 2009 by Damian
Sarah: “Do you want toast or a bagel?”
Zach: “My want a bagel.”
Sarah: ‘OK.”
Zach: “What you having?”
Sarah: “I’m having toast.”
Zach: “Toast is a boring thing to have for breakfast, Mummy.”
Sarah: “Why?”
Zach: “Daddy said toast is boring for breakfast. Toast is BORING, Mummy.”
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Modern terminology
May 19th, 2009 by Damian
Zach calls animated emoticons ‘stickers’, as in “my want to put another sticker on”. That is all.
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Breakfast recognition
May 1st, 2009 by Damian
Zach, eating scrambled eggs: “this porridge tastes like yuck!”
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Be careful what you wish for
April 4th, 2009 by Damian
I spent months on end encouraging Zach to talk. Sam has not stopped babbling for the last three weeks; the Plunket nurse insists she’s speaking like an 8-month-old baby instead of a 3-month-old one, and the Well Child book agrees. She literally tells us stories, complete with gesticulations and eye/eyebrow movements. It’s rather funny, but she hasn’t yet learned how to operate her volume control – we currently have the TV set to ‘pensioner’ volume and it’s still not enough.
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As I say, not as I do, dammit
April 2nd, 2009 by Damian
“My not want to go to kindy today. My tired.”
“Tired is not a reason, Zachary.”
(time, she passes)
“No, you can’t do that, Zach.”
“No is not a reason!”
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I have trained him well
March 31st, 2009 by Damian
Tonight at dinner, Sam was sitting quietly in her rocker. Sarah had pulled the string on the clinky-clanky-make-soothing-noise toy, and all was well.
Zach poked his head up and looked around before stating “what’s that AWFUL noise?” He then clambered up and around his mother to peer at the offensive aural source; once he found it he pointed and declared “that stopped me from eating my dinner!”
It took Sarah quite some time to compose herself enough to attack her pork chop again.
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There are only two options
February 22nd, 2009 by Damian
- Either Sarah and I can’t follow simple instructions – say, how to measure an infant from head to foot, or
- Our daughter is freakishly tall.
Her length from tip to toe is 62cm, at seven-and-a-half weeks’ old. If you refer to either the NZ growth charts, or the somewhat less readable WHO ones, you will see that 62cm, even at a full two months’ age, is off the top of the freakin’ graphs, i.e. even higher than the 97th percentile measurement.
It is probably worth pointing out that I hate basketball.
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Well, crap.
February 19th, 2009 by Damian
What do you get if you have a baby that doesn’t poo for five days?
You get the most unholy amount of liquefied crap ever seen in one location. Rapidly. Through the clothes, on the sofa. Through two cloth nappies. Everywhere, EVERYWHERE. It was like an explosion in a Crayola factory, assuming that the factory only makes one colour (orange) and had a large water tower on top of it.
Then she did it again.
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She smiled at me today.
February 11th, 2009 by Damian
She may now be allowed to stay with us.
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Straight in a home, as soon as he can legally do it
February 6th, 2009 by Damian
Sarah opened the hall cupboard today and somewhat perplexedly pulled out half an aeroplane, a hard hat, and a painted cardboard roll.
Upon being asked, Zach looked up and explained that “them were old”.
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