I reject your bourgeois numeracy and substitute my own

Our little boy eats somewhat like a sparrow; a sparrow that loves lollies and has no concept of meal times. He (very politely) asked for a treat before dinner and was told that he could count out four lollies for him to have after dinner.

I noticed, after he had had his traditional five bites of food and left the table, that he had put three black jelly beans and two blue jelly beans into his dessert bowl. “Zach,” I called, “would you count to four for me please?”

The reply was rapid and emphatic. “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, FOUR!” he chirped. I showed him the bowl and invited him to try again, which he did. “One, two, three, FOUR!” he declared as he checked them off, completely skipping the centre bean.

We did eventually get him to count to four, and rather quickly too as it turned out. He stuffed them in his mouth one after the other and managed to sound out the numbers around the mouthful.

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