I think she likes him?
September 13th, 2016 by Damian
Sam: “Hands up who thinks Margery is cute? The only parts of him that aren’t adorable are his butt, his bits, and his teeth.”
Posted in Uncategorized | No comments »
Two takes on Xmas lists
January 24th, 2016 by Damian
An email from my son arrived a couple of weeks before Christmas:
Hello Dad. Here my Xmas list 1. new lego city sets. 2.xbox live gold 3.$1,000
Sam, though, delivered me a handwritten list. Quite an extensive one, too:
Posted in Uncategorized | No comments »
They love each other really
November 10th, 2015 by Damian
Zach flings his jersey over Sam’s head. She stands stock still and sighs deeply, then resignedly says “HOW much longer do I have to put UP with this?”
Posted in Uncategorized | No comments »
There’s not really any comeback to that
November 22nd, 2014 by Damian
Sam, dressed as a princess, starts to strip off to put some overalls on.
“Sam,” I say, “you don’t have to take your normal clothes off. The overalls go over your normal clothes; that’s why they’re called overalls.”
I sit back, smug in my Dad-is-a-font-of-all-knowledge aura. Sam stares at me.
“Daddy.” A small pause. A hint of sarcasm to come.
Waves hands over body. “These aren’t normal clothes.”
Posted in Uncategorized | No comments »
Random quotes, part deux
June 3rd, 2014 by Damian
"Everything’s fish at the Fisherman’s Table. Except the tables." (Samantha the future advertising executive)
Sarah: “It’s OK, Sam. Wives are made to not listen to husbands.”
Sam: “No, they have to listen… to their deaths!”
Damian: “Er…”
Sam: “And YOU’RE the death in this family, Daddy!”
"Little witches with blood on their chins." (Sam describes vampires, somewhat thoughtfully)
“A pianist?! What do they do, play with pee?” (Zach learns a new word while gesturing frantically at his crotch)
Posted in Uncategorized | No comments »
Some of the conversations around here are really, REALLY weird
April 6th, 2014 by Damian
Sarah: “You could go to a tennis camp, Zach.”
Zach: “A penis camp?!”
Sarah: “No! A tennis camp… what would you do at a penis camp?”
Damian: “Well, at tennis camp you play tennis, so at penis camp you play…”
Sarah: <filthy look>
Zach: “Well, it would be better if you and I were at penis camp, Daddy. I mean, you KNOW what penises do.”
Damian: “…”
Posted in Uncategorized | No comments »
This is the sort of thing that the first week at school leads to
February 7th, 2014 by Damian
“Mum, do Australian people eat spiders?”
“Er… no, darling. Why do you ask?”
“Well, I’ve got spiders on my window and I was just wondering if, um… if those people would EAT spiders.”
Posted in Uncategorized | No comments »
The first snippets of 2014
January 18th, 2014 by Damian
Zach was explaining to me how his snorkel works, and included the following fact: “It has a design feature that lets you know when you’re too far underwater.”
Interested, I asked him how it worked, since as far as I could tell it was just a tube.
“It fills up with water” he stated somewhat matter-of-factly, and then dived under again.
Sam has some definite ideas about her birthday, but I admit to not knowing what the hell to do with this information:
“Birthdays are more important than pink flowers. You can’t do anything with pink flowers – you can only give them to people.”
Posted in Uncategorized | No comments »
No comment
July 22nd, 2013 by Damian
In order to keep the peace during a prolonged trip to Pete’s Emporium – Zach wants a Minecraft party this year, and that requires a lot of cubes, as you’d expect – the children were allowed a couple of small things each, as the imported-from-China prices mean that this is not burdensome.
Zach took the opportunity to get a police helmet and vest, which is fairly normal.
Sam, on the other hand, walked out of the shop carrying some pink, glittery fairy wings – and a rubber chicken. That squawks.
Posted in Uncategorized | No comments »
I guess that’s one way of looking at it
March 13th, 2013 by Damian
“Goodness, Sam, you’ve eaten a lot of prawns. Do you like them?”
“No, I don’t like them. I’m just trying them a lot.”
Posted in Uncategorized | No comments »
« Older entries